 The nation celebrates Grandparent’s Day on September 13, reminding all of us to make grandparents, as much as we can, a part of our children’s lives. As recently as a generation ago, the upbringing of children was shared among parents, grandparents and extended families, literally involving "a village to raise a child." Today, distances between family members, busy lives, and even different attitudes about parenting can make cultivating the grandparent-child bond more challenging.
But children need focused attention from adults, and grandparents often have more time and patience to listen, to play, to read, to comfort, and to love. Grandparents can also share stories about the family and about recent history; they provide powerful role models for personal responsibility. Giving children a sense of connectedness builds confidence, security and trust and enables children to try new things and extend themselves.
Here are some ideas for helping to foster healthy grandparent-child relationships:
• Create special times for grandparents and children to be alone, even if you
are home or nearby. Special time alone helps grandparents and children build
relationships that are all their own, with special stories, routines, and rituals.
• If your parents or in laws live far away, there are many ways to cultivate
and maintain the bond. Make visits as often as possible and talk about your visits
with your child before you go, so that they are excited and eagerly anticipate
visits with their grandparents.
• Display family photos in the home so that your children recognize their
grandparents. Send your children’s photos by mail or email, and keep in touch
by phone. (You can even show your child a photo of grandpa while talking on
the phone with him).
• Even if you feel your parents could have done a better job of parenting,
grandparenting can be an opportunity to "try again" (for both of you!) Family
bonds can often be mended when a new baby enters the world, giving families
a chanceto reconnect and start anew, talking through and working out some of the
harder times in the family history.
• Honor grandparents often. Whether near or far, tell grandparents how wonderful
and loved they are. There is nothing more precious than a hug, kiss, or
"I love you" from a toddler to grandparent.
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How can I involve grandparents more in my children's lives?
